Wednesday, November 25, 2009

End of a long silence

Well, not quite, for the many I've been fortunate to have been in close contact with the past months, in the course of work and friendship.

I mean the blog silence. Been a while since I've felt inclined to say anything here. Probably because there's been little reason for me to have anything pent up and unsaid in person. Hail to perennial bitching kakis and the one who buys me pao pao cha to ease my occasional mood dives.

Such an eventful year, and pretty much my first fully professional year in theatre. This is the first year where I've been fully and very gainfully employed in shows almost all the time, and as any freelance actor in Singapore (or anywhere else) knows, crazy busy is always GOOD. Furthermore, I've been surrounded by wonderful people to work with 5 out of the 6 shows I did this year. Even that one exception wasn't entirely rotten, and met a few people who would be nice to work with again.

So to friends whom I've neglected this year - I'm sorry!! And yet not sorry, if you catch my meaning. I promise to make it up! And I'm a lot more free between now and January...

I think apart from the joy of doing lots of what I enjoy, I also draw happiness in that I've grown more than I realise, and the thrill of knowing there's so much more to go. I'm certainly not the performer I want to be, but am working my way there. Got wind of a bit of feedback recently that really boosted my spirits and has gotten my hopes way up high. Even if it doesn't pan out in the end, it's all still very encouraging.

When my last ex and I broke up, he gave his mum a bullshit reason, saying we were moving in different directions. I rarely think about it, but now changes in direction are in my mind and I'm reminded of that, and I'm glad my path led me here. It feels almost inevitable actually, I wonder that he didn't see it, and wonder why it should have mattered anyway. It really does feel that every step I've made since the age of 11 has led me right here, and that I always knew where I wanted to go, even when I tried branching in other directions to see if anything more rewarding lay there (it didn't - no accountant nor engineer am I!).

Things to look forward to in the coming months (some of which are in conflict with each other, but that is a happy problem):

1) Ollie & the Slurge - and I gather someone in the British Isles is coming back to do this one too? ;)

2) SITI Company in June!

3) Santa Cruz in July!

4) Meeting a certain good friend and his beautiful wife, hopefully somewhere between Monterey and Seattle? *hint hint*

5) Getting to work with another company that I've been yearning to work with. *fingers crossed*

6) Doing awesome stuff with COLLAB!

7) Finding gigs in 2 whole new areas of performing.

8) Losing the pounds I've put on over the past 2 years! (Oops, I recently read somewhere that you shouldn't tell people about your weight-loss or fitness goals before you achieve them because you're less likely to achieve them after opening your big yap. But I don't buy that entirely.)

9) Using fewer exclamation marks in my blog entries!

10) Wearing less pink.

To all you fabulous and fun people out there whom I'm happy to call friends and colleagues, thank you! And more thanks a-plenty to little Mao who fills my nights with lovely things.