Tuesday, July 05, 2011

What I learned from other women

When you go out with other women, dessert is not an option. It's a necessity.

It's easy to tell who are the women who are easily flattered. It's not always a bad thing, but is mildly annoying sometimes.

Women's lips are far, far softer to kiss than men's. (Don't ask me how I know. OK, fine, Truth or Dare.)

I can see when they're genuinely glad to meet me or any other new person. Upon being introduced, their eyebrows rise a little, the upper mask of their face lifts and their eyes widen, and a half-smile is already forming before they consciously tell themselves to smile at you.

If you've ever laid hands on their man or ex-man, no matter how inadvertent or understandable or far-removed in time frame, they'll never trust you.

Insecure women don't know you can tell that they're insecure because they're too busy compensating. A good friend introduced me to a pretty young thing he was interested in. The girl in question was indeed good-looking, well-dressed, and poised in a manner calculated for effect. I smiled and extended my hand to her - her response was to press her lips into a tight, terse smile and look me up and down before limply extending her hand in response. And this leads me to my next point.

Insecure women don't know you can tell when they're judging you. She was gorgeous but I disliked her within 3 seconds of meeting her. Sure enough, she turned out to be deathly insecure and attention-starved and my friend eventually saw there was no point pursuing her.

A woman doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous to feel confident and attractive. In a social circle I used to hang around in, there were numerous slim, impeccably-groomed, delicate-featured young ladies. However, the only woman in that group to ever make me gasp and say "Now SHE's hot" was a fleshy ah lian who didn't score high in the looks nor poise department, but could switch from chirpy to kill-em smoulder in a heartbeat, and who spoke her mind freely, devil-may-care - it was this complete belief that she was fabulous that made her so.

Most women are better people when they realise that happiness is wherever they choose to find it.

But some women are much better people when they are miserable than when they are happy.

Some women will always crave the drama. Even when everything is going their way, drama finds them eventually, somehow. (But hey, look what industry I work in. All hail the drama.)

When you're in a room with powerful women, you can't help but feel empowered yourself.

Some women do have all the answers they need - the reason they've turned to you is not to hear the answers all over again, but to have your support and a hug.

The women who end up being the ones who stick around and share your life with you aren't the ones who are just like you. They're the ones who complement you and you them.