Talent and doubt

Some gifts of natural talent you get that don't go away. Right?

That's the question I often ask myself. While in school, I discovered that my gifts of prose and acting far exceeded my knack for school curriculum. While I can't say I was born with them, they certainly always felt like natural and essential parts of me, like the ability to write with my right hand and the ability to curl my tongue.

But will the lack of contact and use cause them to diminish? I'd stayed away from acting for so long, I no longer know if I'm any good at it anymore, and I can't help feeling that it doesn't come to me as naturally as it used to. I feel more stilted and uncomfortable, even though I still love it. Or is it because I just wasn't doing the right pieces for me?

I can write, that I know. Words flow from me with ease. But can I write prose anymore? I have not written a single piece of fiction or descriptive writing since I was 17. There's only one way to find out, if only there was time enough.

Simple little questions of doubt, flowing from insecurities and deep-seated fear - after all, who doesn't sometimes stop to wonder if there's a little less of themselves if they stop being able to do things that they used to be good at or love? Part of my soul is with the pen and the stage. Is there a hollow space within me where they used to fill?