In/not in

I know what it was (perhaps still is). I wasn't in love...yet. Am still not in love...sort of. And yet I am...almost, notquite.

I've accepted that there'll always be a place in my heart for him as long as he stays an almost-what-if-isn't. (No point trying to erase something that has already made a mark, albeit a gentle one.)

Bet you're asking: what the heck does that mean?

That means that if asked if I am/was in love with him, I can't truthfully say yes. But at the same time, I can't truthfully say no either.

But I must remember to put those in the past tense as well. (Wow, my mind really has cleared up completely during this time here. Like I said - mind clear, heart untroubled.)

That's the nature of a what-if-never-was, I guess.

I hyphenate too much.