Impossible conversations

Don't you sometimes find it impossible to hold a normal, reasonable conversation with someone? These are snippets from an afternoon spent in the company of a family member who will remain unnamed... but you know who it is anyway. [Disclaimer: Mistakes (such as "Silk Route" instead of "Silk Road") really are what she thinks they are.]

On the topic of African people:

Me: How do you know what Sudanese people look like?

Her: Movies, lah! [She wasn't kidding]

~~~~~~~

On why loan sharks are known locally as dai yi loong (big ear hole):

Her: Maybe they wore big earrings that made their ear holes big.

Me: They could have originated from gangs.

Her: Maybe, like in China, they were rich people who wore big earrings. Or maybe they came from the Middle East, you know, like those Baghdad people.

Me: Huh? Baghdad is a city in Iraq.

Her: Aiya, you know what I mean. Those tribes from that area, like on the Silk Route, they looked like that. And since they went to China, maybe the Chinese called them dai yi loong because of their earrings.

Me: ... ... [I wasn't sure what the train of logic of that conversation thread was anymore]

~~~~~~~

On driving from home to Great World City:

Her: Parking there is so terrible. It takes such me a long time to get a place to park, and sometimes it takes a long time just to get into the car park.

Me: Why don't you walk there? It's only 5 minutes away.

Her: I'm so tired!

Me: But taking a long time to find parking is less tiring?

Her: I've been so busy and tired, and you're not helping me. Do you know how much I do every day? Do you know how tired I am every day?

I swear, some days, matricide is just an accident waiting to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A completely different topic, but I find it pointless blogging twice in a day.

Whenever I'm in California, I go nuts at the huge cosmetics departments at drug stores, Target and Walmart.

A current trend I noticed this year was 'smart' makeup, where the foundation or concealer or blush comes out white but changes shade on contact with your skin. It's supposed to transform into the optimal shade for you. There are some of these in Singapore, but it's in the US that they seem really common.

It sounded like a good idea to me, so when I saw this Almay concealer, I thought what the hey, since it's cheap and sounds promising, I might as well get one.
Of course, it occurred to me only later that a concealer that morphs into your skin tone is less good an idea. Sure enough, when I tried it after buying, I felt silly right away.

Here's why: What happens when a concealer changes into the shade of skin directly underneath it, i.e. the blemish that you are trying to conceal? That's right - it, very helpfully, changes into the very shade you were trying to conceal in the first place. So, I end up with a concealer that blends very nicely with the rest of my face, but doesn't conceal a thing.

DUH.