Scammed by MediaCrap

Looks like I wasn't the only one who felt completely scammed today (Brendon Fernandez has posted a note about this incident too).

I was called for what sounded like a common casting at MediaCrap today (25 May).

When I get there, the first thing that sounds amiss is that I'm told I have to wait for another few auditionees to arrive before we can proceed to the audition. The second odd thing is that the casting it is not in the Annexe building as usual, but in some obscure corner of the compound. Anyone who has auditioned for MediaCrap before would know.

While in the holding room, I am told how lucky I am that I am next in line, and that others before me had had to wait a pretty long time.

I am then led into a room where I see a TV actor (let's call him L) I had worked with very recently; he appears very surprised to see me, then tells me he's producing this new show. We proceed into a small mock-up of an office where I can plainly see 3 two-way mirrors. L tells me this is a mock-up of the office for the character I'm auditioning for. I'm then told to fill out a talent form and memorise a short piece of dialogue for the audition - a piece of dialogue that is set in a pub, not an office, by the way. L then leaves me alone in the room.

A minute later, he startles me from behind, obviously having entered from a hidden door behind me. Being not a complete moron, I figure it's a deliberate setup to make me squeal, which I don't since I don't scare easily. He leaves the room and tries the same trick again, only this time I actually can hear the 'secret' door opening behind me. At this time, he says, "Surprise! You're on Just for Laughs!" and points to the camera in one of the two-way mirrors.

At this time, a dude walks in (whom I assume is the director) and says that my reaction is very calm, and asks me to try it again and pretend I'm really scared. I'm also very helpfully introduced to the notion that I'd "be on national TV!" for giving a truly scared reaction.

I ask whether I'll be paid for this. I'm told that I won't, but will be 'compensated' for my time and trouble - a whopping $20. But oh, this is "also a casting" for the future - either to be a pranker for the show or for "future projects".

I promptly ask that I be excluded from future such gags.

Not only was it a complete waste of my time, it is an insult to professional actors. In addition to my intelligence being insulted, I, along with goodness knows how many other actors have been taken advantage of today.

MediaCrap, who already aren't known for their regard for actors, have sunk to a new low. They have absolutely no respect for us as professionals and think that they can get away with luring people who are seeking real work opportunities and scamming them for a cheap show.

Am thoroughly pissed off.

The trust fall

One thing I hadn't thought about for quite a while (and hadn't needed to) was the issue of trust when it comes to partners. My idle brain meandered through a winding train of thought and ended up contemplating the ideas of trust and the fear of being lied to.

I think this is possibly one of my biggest fears with men. Basically, I don't really care if someone who doesn't matter enough to me lies, or even if a good friend lies. Sure I'd feel a little hurt if a close friend told an untruth, but if it's not something that affects me too significantly, it's not that big a deal.

However, the experience of a fibbing partner is far more damaging, and it'd been a while since I remembered how damaged I still am from all the lies fed to me over the years by boys and men I loved and/or cared about.

I blame my ex-boyfriends (except V and E). The compulsive, incorrigible liar. The omitting liar. The lying-to-himself liar. And finally, the cowardly one who had everyone fooled - the least likely and yet the most accomplished of the liars.

It's a bit disturbing to find myself thinking about this issue again after it's been asleep for a while.

I think it's because it's been so long since I've come to care for anyone, and it's only very recently that I've started seeing some embers of it. The cycle starts again - the irrational compulsion to distrust things said to me, and the rational side hammers that down, and my gut instincts get all scrambled and confused and decide they'd rather just go back to hibernation because they know that really good liars can bypass them anyway. It's something my rational side has to keep battling with, because it surfaces involuntarily.

It's nothing personal to anyone. Just a reflex from being taken for an idiot too many times, often by guys who weren't even aware of how bad they were at lying. Seemed that each time I gave my trust, it got flung back and me and knocked me over.

I just wish it were easier to trust people, knowing it will never be again while I remain sound of mind. I also wish it were easier for someone to earn my trust.