Can one still be pissed off by someone they've long ceased to care for? Fucking yes!
Blog surfing sometimes is, quoting a recent commenter for my blog, "like a freaking car accident, you can't help but stare" even if you know you'll probably find something that will make you scoff or seethe. Browsed through an ex's blog and found this in his latest entry:
"Yet my thoughts, my pride, and my love for my family and friends was curbed when I was with Daphne (no I'm not going to go on harping on and on about her, she's not worth it {no hurt intended to reader)). Though I was happy being with her, she basically took or demanded all my energy, my emotions and my time away, till I have almost no time for others."
What the fuck?! Curbed his love for family and friends because I demanded all his energy? No hurt, my ass! His memory has failed him miserably. Mr I-want-to-be-remembered-as-the-one-who-loved-you-most who would insist on spending time with me even though I pressed him to please go home to study/help his mum. Same dude who, without warning, bought my family presents and lavished compliments and neglected to get a single thing for his long-suffering mother at CNY, and refused to take home any of the gifts for her when I asked him to.
I hate when my name is sullied like that when I was the one who tried to set things right and was not listened to. Instead, because I couldn't feel the same way and couldn't always agree with him, I get all the failings blamed on me. Hello? I recall being the one to tell him not to try too hard, that I liked him as he was, but noooooooooo... I got accused of being unappreciative when I did that.
If he voluntarily spread himself too thin in trying his best for the relationship, I understood that completely and assured him so at the time. But the fact is I tried to talk sense into him that not everything he was doing was right, and I DID tell him that his family and personal life needed attention too. And I got the same response each time: either 1) he'd majorly pout and we'd quarrel about me "not appreciating his effort", or 2) he'd gush about how he wanted to try his best for me so that he could take the honour as the one who loved me most; indeed, he was HAPPY doing all that for me and sacrificing all else, against my strenuous advice.
Well, Mr Delusional Weatherman, to hell with you. Whatever forgiveness you sought from me just ain't happening. The fact is, you never ever saw any other point of view but your own. You never saw anything happening but what was in your head. You never heard anyone else's words but your own. Although I wasn't in love with you, I gave you my best at the time, and that was wasted on you because you never saw it. Fudge you.
2 comments:
He said you were not worth it...
Cruel and insensitive I thought.
The "not worth it" part I can understand. Most of us feel that way about our ex-es at some point or other. Goodness knows I feel that about some people...
What pissed me off was the false things he was saying about me and the relationship. There are 3 possibilities:
1) He's honestly delusional.
2) He's trying to clear himself of whatever fault lay on himself. Sure, I had fault too, but to falsely blame me for everything makes him a fucktard.
3) He's trying to use lovely words to deliberately paint a rosy picture of himself, which I've caught him doing before, and he still does on his blog. Knowing the guy showed me a vastly different person from what he liked to represent himself to be. And it's that falseness that many mutual acquaintances see in him, whether he knows it or not.
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