Show me the way to the stage

An audition and a late-night chat with Winds reminded me of something.

The audition was for I Theatre's next musical. I received a message saying I didn't get into the show but was shortlisted for their next production. Disappointment was mild, and I found myself chatting with Winds about it tonight. A few things came to light which comforted me greatly about not getting into the current show, but what struck me was him mentioning one thing he liked about I Theatre - they tended to recall actors for future productions.

While that sounded promising to me at this point in time, it made me think back to the time where I was trying to start out in theatre after leaving school. Totally green with regards to the local theatre scene then, I was at a loss as to how to even find out about casting. What made it even harder was that I was working at my first full-time job. Looking around, all I found were barriers to a total newbie trying to find her way to the stage.

Out of frustration, I posted my thoughts in the singaporetheatre.com forum. Why was it so hard for a newbie? Why did we consistently see the same faces on the stage over and over when there were so many talented and eager non-professional actors out there? Why was it so hard to get hold of resources on the local scene (apart from the wonderful but limited cache of info Ee Hoon put on her website)? In a more accusatory tone, I touted that the industry shouldn't be so protective and set up so many barriers.

This is when I had my first contact with Malti, who emailed me explaining a few things about the local theatre industry and helping me with some resources. I then realised I just didn't know where to look (well, that was one of my peeves in the first place).

Theatre companies re-hire the same actors out of economy and comfort - because they know the actors and what they can do...and to pull sales using well-known names. And, if all goes well, this might even work for me in the near future now that I'm farther down the track. And is HAS worked for me - that's how I got my role in the last two musicals I did.

And it makes me feel like a bit of a sell-out (to-be), remembering all those unfamiliar, nervous faces I see at auditions, some probably where I was four years ago.

Incest is best

And now, still fairly new and inexperienced, having done only a few shows since, I'm already finding the industry incredibly small! It's almost filthy how everyone eventually knows everyone else, regardless of whether they're active in amateur or professional theatre. There are only so many training programmes and theatre companies here. It feels incestuous.

And it feels comfortable. Everyone gets mooshed together in a little pot of soup until it becomes more cosy than cramped. Lots of "Oh, you know HIM? And HER too? We did so-and-so show last year!" And, two years after you last see an actor you did a show with, you see them again in another setting and you give each other a big hug in delight. Because that's what performing together does to you, especially in amateur theatre. You recognise the same passions in each other, and those passions mingle and blend for two months. And when you take it back with you after the show is over, you take some of the other person's with you as well with no loss to either, because they're now greater than the sum of their parts.

Entering upstage right

It's hard work. It's so much tougher than what many people think it is. Just the craft itself takes so much work and effort. Getting there is another uphill climb. I think it was harder for me because I had no opportunity to train before now and no support for my love for it in my growing years. Finding the channels and the chance to develop took a great deal of time and effort. Damned if I'm ever going to give it up. I'm this close. I'm going to get there.

Along the way, it's right to stop to thank the people who benchmarked my journey:

1. Mrs Hazel Low - My introduction to and encouragement in drama in the years 1990 to 1991. Her favouritism boosted my confidence in acting and writing.

2. Roger Jenkins - For that one phrase of praise in December of 1993 that made me believe that acting was something I should keep at. And for showing me masks.

3. Malti - For showing me the doors and windows (and to Leigh for being a big big window!)

4. Luke and Esther - For saying, "Yes. We want you to be Stella." For giving my self-confidence on stage a huge upward hoist.

5. Ivan and Jon - For showing me what's behind the curtain.