Angry tonight

I am angry tonight. I am looking back, and I am thinking.

I am thinking of a deceitful person.

I am thinking of deliberately inflicted hurt.

I am thinking of calculated coldness.

I am thinking of selfishness.

I am thinking of misrepresentation - to others, and to self.

I am thinking of the weight of someone else's baggage.

I am thinking of perfectly valid hope and belief - spat upon and crushed under-heel.

I am thinking of disrespect of commitment, and welcoming predation from an opportunistic and equally disrespectful creature.

I am thinking of desperate longing for shallow validation - and rejection of deeper appreciation.

I am thinking of the turning away from what is good and right.

I am thinking of denial.

I am thinking of self-destructiveness.

I am thinking of cowardice.

I am thinking of all the choices made to create a version of self that is all of the above - and this, above all else, is the unforgivable.

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

But, then, I look ahead, and I see.

I see kindness.

I see a gentle hand, gentle arms. 

I see loving eyes waiting and inviting.

I see affection without hope or agenda.

I see generosity of the soul.

I see openness. 

I see an open door. 

I see a place of rest and comfort, to rest, to heal, to breathe again.

And I am no longer angry.