Ocean, lover

(Photo credit: unknown Webshots user)

Something as simple as switching the desktop wallpaper at random can trigger introspection.

As it happens, the desktop manager software I use swapped my wallpaper to a random one, and in a flash, I saw tall grey cliffs, battered down to a small, white, sandy beach at their edges, locked in embrace with the richly hued waters of the coast.

And I felt like I was looking at the photograph of an old, unforgotten lover.

I'm no seaman like my father is, but I love the sea all the same. It's different from the love I've felt for any man or boy, yet same in its depth. I've shared ocean sides with lovers before, yet somehow, the way the sea moved me in those moments felt like mine and mine only, even when in the arms of those I loved.

I keep wondering what's this fascination humankind has with bodies of water. I know that deep down we're programmed to seek it and treasure it as a life source, but even the undrinkable, sometimes hostile ocean water captures our imagination and infatuation. Is it the multitude of facets of the world it presents that we're reminded to look at? Is that why we marvel at the sunset over the ocean, its brilliant colours multiplied a million times over the countless waves? Or is it just its constant shifting that compels us to watch it?

It's in times by the sea or even just looking at a picture of it makes me feel like I don't need a lover, that the deep blue is lover enough for me. Like music, like the theatre, it is an inconstant and tempestuous lover, yet it will never break my heart, and I can love it as much as I want.

But I don't know if I'm saying this because I don't have anyone to love (romantically, at least), that I've simply forgotten the sensation of being in love with someone. Perhaps it's just that the ocean is so much more accessible.

Maybe it's because I finally lay eyes on someone remotely f***able...and he's out of bounds.

Let me think...

... ... ...

(thinking)

... ... ...

Nah. I love the ocean anyway. With or without a dude.