Can live with vs can't live without

A friend once asked me, "Would you want to be with a man you can live with or a man you can't live without?"

"A man I can live with."

She nodded. "We're all practical people."

This was when I was twenty years old, messed up, depressed and knew that the one I couldn't live without would never be mine to hold. I assumed that her question assumed that the two options didn't exist in the same person. It was the age of unfortunate discovery for many of us. Hearts were broken both callously and gingerly. The greatest loves were also the most destructive. The highest hopes were those that were dashed most completely.

What would you choose?

A man you can't live without (but assuming you can't live with): You'd spend your life with the one your heart has surrendered to, who seems as much a part of your soul as yourself. You know that your soul would be dead if you were sundered from him. But he slowly tears you apart. You know he can make you happy but can never keep you happy.

A man you can live with (but assuming you are lukewarm with him): You'd be with a man who will provide you with security and comfort. You're nowhere near madly in love with him, but he is pleasing enough and is not likely to let you down. But somewhere inside you is a nagging feeling, an emptiness that he can never fill. And perhaps there is the great what-if that troubles you when you're unable to repress it. Perhaps the thought of another burns in your mind - the one you couldn't live without.

[Of course if you're of a different gender or sexual orientation, consider the appropriate version of the above.]

If someone were to ask me the same question today, I'd think it a stupid question, since I've already found someone who embodies both.