Missing this year

This is the first time I'm missing Sean's birthday, having chosen to stay in Singapore so I wouldn't miss Y&W training sessions. I won't get to see him till the training ends in February.

Yesterday was his third birthday and I found myself crying my eyes out at home in the middle of the night because I missed him and my sis so much.

I'd actually forgotten to call earlier, so my sis called me at a little past midnight, which is around 9am over there. She was upset that I'd forgotten it's his birthday, but what did she expect when she began the phonecall with, "So it's National Day?" The first thing that occurred to me was no, it's not National Day! (Duh.) But I didn't think she'd be testing to see if I'd forgotten Sean's day. But anyway. After the big guilt trip, we had a halting conversation, which was awkward because she and I hardly ever get upset with each other.

Then she put Sean on the phone. He didn't say much, since the amount of chatter we get from him is always dependent on his mood, but when he said, "I love you, Yee Yee" I totally melted. I then sang him his birthday song. He loved it apparently, as I was told he was grinning the whole time he was listening to the song.

It was hard to try to hide that I was crying over the phone, but I think I did admirably. I didn't want them to hear how upset I was. It really sucks that I can't be there. I keep telling myself that I can see lots of them next spring and that I'll stay longer to make up for it. And that Y&W better be well worth it.

I miss them so much.