Friends vs Friends

I've seldom come across this scenario since I left primary school, but it occurred to me again recently that it's really hard to be close friends with people who don't like and/or don't understand each other.

[Disclaimer: This is not directed at any one person; it's a collective bitch-and-moan covering an expanse of recent events.]

It all seems concentrated around this period, starting around CNY. All these events congregate to show me how unkind and judgemental people can be, especially regarding delicate situations. Quite disappointing when they are friends I treasure and trust to be largely discerning and fair people.

Even professional comments can turn personal and downright bitchy. I was especially pissed off during one particular dinner where there was collective bashing of someone I'm very close to. The professional and somewhat constructive comments I could take objectively. But they quickly turned mean, mocking and unfair. That's when I sat on my hands to keep from slapping someone within arm's reach.

The incident about the suicide. I'm still harping on it because it still stings and I'm PMSing. It occurred to me that if that "just let her die" comment had come out during PMS, I would have asked that person to stop the car and I'd have walked out on the spot. But oh no, stupid me was stunned into incredulous silence while someone else quickly salvaged the situation. It didn't come from someone close to me, and I got the person to apologise eventually, but it still stings, and the apology didn't come out quite right, as if there was a passive defense of the insensitive comment. Who are these people to say and assume things when they don't even know E and what kind of person she is? And I also take it as a personal slight, seeing how they knew I was going out with them because I really needed some company because I was upset and very shaken.

And other intense and/or shocking info about these various parties. I'm privy to these slices of information, but that doesn't mean I should be grilled about all the juicy details that are clearly for my ears only, especially when they're going to form their own opinion anyway. And all the judgement that's going on, my goodness. If you don't know the fucking details and can't understand another person, don't assume.

But what did I do in most of these situations of friends-bashing? The politically correct thing - keep my cool and close one eye. And seethe afterward. Perhaps, as a person in this industry, I'm too balanced in opinion (if I do say so myself) and value gan qing too much.

Yes, friends can sometimes be unkind and unfair. But I accept and love them as they are. Well, most of them.

Gosh, if I compiled everything and made it into a single soap opera, it'd put Days of Our Lives to shame.

I can't wait for progesterone levels to go back down.