How often does one pause and think about the most significant moments in life - those that shape you, change you, define you, mark out the topography of your life? This is a list of my top 20, as far as I can remember for now.
1. 3 years old: Being given a small hibiscus by a boy named Adrian in playschool - first time being embarassed by a boy.
2. 4 or 5 years old: Being caned by my mother for climbing into the neighbour's yard to play (in spite of the fact I was invited by the neighbour's mom) - first time I realised parents can be irrational.
3. 6 years old: Had a water fight with my sister in the kitchen - learned fights can be fun.
4. 7 years old: Had a seriously f***ed up operation for appendicitis - realised doctors can kill you as much as they can save you.
5. 8 years old: Made fun of an unpopular classmate - first time I felt truly mean and regretful.
6. 10 years old: First took notice of the beautiful, long fingers of the church pianist and the even more beautiful music he played - fell in crush for the first time.
7. 11 years old: Joined the drama club - birth of my life-long passion.
8. 12 years old: My sister left Singapore to study - felt true loss and loneliness for the first time.
9. 13 years old: Discovered a friend had a crush on me - first awareness of being desired.
10. 14 years old: First held hands with a boy I liked very much - experience of my first romantic touch. (But no, nothing happened.)
11. 17 years old: A brave friend died - first true source of inspiration.
12. 17 years old: Fell in love completely.
13. 19 years old: Had my heart ripped to shreds - first wound from which no full recovery is possible.
14. 20 years old: First truly unpleasant discovery about myself.
15. 21 years old: Started my first real job - learned that financial independence = bonds of parents' high expectations loosened.
16. 23 years old: Dated an older man - lesson that some preconceived notions come with a reason.
17. 23 years old: Finally fully emerged from a long depression - discovered life really can be happy.
18. 24 years old: Got together with Kelvin - unprecedented advent of someone with such perfect chemistry and wavelength.
19. 24 years old: Nephew Sean was born - (see post below).
20. 25 years old: Second truly unpleasant discovery about myself.
And I'm sitting here waiting for the next big moment.
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1 comment:
curious to know what are the two unpleasant discoveries...
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