Yes, No, Maybe

Girl talk. I sip my iced tea at the cafe, set the tall glass back on its neat little coaster and regard S, who is sitting across from me. She's busy stabbing another leaf of lettuce in her salad. We resume the ongoing discussion - S is gushing with excitement, and she can't wait to finish the story.

"You've been playing tennis together for weeks, and haven't had any hint from him?" I prod.

"No, not really. Nothing concrete, at least."

I've already heard her tales of his little supposedly-out-of-character acts of sweetness that almost-are-not-quite possible signs of affection. (I hyphenate too much.) It all sounded wishy-washy to me. "So do you know for sure whether he likes you?"

"Eve asked him the other day, "Do you actually like S?""

Now this is interesting. "That was direct. What did he say?"

"He said he's not sure."

Chey. "Not sure?" This doesn't sound promising.

"Then Eve asked him, "Will you like S?" And he said yes!" S beams brightly.

I'm incredulous. Is this supposed to be good news? "Will he like you? What kind of question is that?"

Her smile falters slightly. She knows it's only a matter of time before I start to rain on her parade. "It means, we have a chance in the near future. We might be together soon!"

"But doesn't that sound very half-hearted to you? It's like he wants to like you even though he may not be that keen in his heart."

I swear S is holding back a scowl. This isn't the first (nor the second, third or even tenth) time I've tried to burst her bubble by attempting to bring her back to reality, or at least try to make her open her eyes a little wider. Nope, she'll have none of that. "No, I think he just needs time to figure things out. He's the type of guy who needs to be sure before he takes a big step." She gives me her best confident, optimistic look as she polishes off the rest of her salad.

Denial...is not just in Egypt. Wasn't that in a song? Resigned, I say the only thing there is to say - what she wants to hear. "Well...I suppose you know him better. Things might work out great." I flash her a smile I don't feel.

She looks satisfied at this little morsel of agreement I've tossed her way. Daffy's giving up early this time, I'm sure she's thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some friends say I'm cynical, that I tend to see the negative what-ifs of situations more than the optimistic possibilities. This is especially so for gender and relationship issues. What can I say? I've been to the deep, dark layers of hellish love and have returned sans my idealistic perceptions. I can safely say that, through my own experiences and observation of others' situations, I have attained some depth of insight in this area and can spot certain trends when I see them. I don't ever meddle, though. I simply state opinion.

So excuse me if I rain on your parade, pals. Not my fault if you enter into your emotional messes with both eyes closed. And you know what? I'm often proven right, by your own admissions, time after time. But of course, you know what you want to hear, and what I have to say sometimes doesn't quite fit that. So I try not to say it all. But you're my friends, and I don't want you to go run yourself into the same walls. It's hard to know what a good balance is between giving well-meaning opinions and shutting up and keeping everyone in euphoria...for now.

At the end of the day, you're still going to hit the same walls at full speed. You're still going to hurt yourself again and again and again and again before you finally learn it all on your own, or sometimes never at all. All regardless of what I or other friends say. So the less said the better?

Intuition is a strange thing. I know I have it by the bucket, but what's the use of it when it has little power to positively affect events already in motion? Or even those that haven't begun moving?

Maybe all I should do is shut up and leave my shoulder available. Someone will need it sometime, the way things are going. In the meantime, I'll smile and do my darndest to be supportive and appear to actually believe S when she tells me things are going exactly the way she'd hoped.