I KNEW it. I told G the other day that I knew there would be one ex who would be happy this happened to me, and sure enough, he is. See his blog here: http://weatherman.blogs.friendster.com/whaddup_from_the_weatherm (scroll down to the entries titled "Gloating" and "Karma")
Firstly, there's this erroneous notion that I did the same thing to him. Let's dispel that notion - unlike Kelvin, I told A no lies. I made it very plain throughout the relationship what I thought and felt. It's not my fault he didn't have any faith in me. But you know what? It's always the faithless who display the least faith in their partners, and I learnt this good and early. (Maybe I should stop being so damn honest and trusting in relationships. It has never done me any good.)
Secondly, I knew getting together with a new guy 3 weeks after I broke up with A would be fodder for him to gloat in this instance. Let me say, I made it perfectly clear at our breakup that I did NOT cheat on him, and I laid out the reasons for our breakup very clearly:
1. We were completely unable to communicate even if someone were to pay us to communicate.
2. I did not love him anymore.
3. The last straw came when I found out A had been picking up girls over IRC and ICQ and asking them out. When confronted, he said, "But I didn't go out with them." To which I retorted, "Because none of them said yes!"
Moreover, the new guy I got together with just after A was someone I hadn't seen in a couple of years, and the day we got together was the first time we'd met in a long while. At least I was already OUT of the relationship before pursuing a new one, versus A's casting several lines at once to see how many girls bite. Besides, he'd told some of the girls about his EX (his then-still-girlfriend - me), so he was probably going to break up with me anyway; he's just pissed I did it first.
Thirdly, he is still sore that I broke up with him in the midst of his exams. Shall I refresh his memory and remind him that, as I told him at the time, I had intended to wait till after his exams before we broke up, but noooooo...he chose to feel insulted that I had intended to wait. AND he was picking up girls DURING his exam period. Who's the busy bee now?
Oh, but I realised one thing in common A had with Kelvin - lying and cheating (or at least the intention to cheat). I wasn't in love with A, but at least I was honest and faithful throughout... oh, but Mr Faithless-Has-No-Faith never believed me anyway.
This is a really bad time to piss me off. Listen, A: if you can't get the facts right, don't soil my name with false facts over and over again. I've quit being diplomatic and nice to all bastards who decide to screw over all my good intentions.
Perhaps if I quit being the sensible, diplomatic one in a relationship, I'll stop attracting vermin?
1 comment:
Hi Daphne,
I read your blog, and I think I can understand how you feel. You are exasperated telling me that you broke up with me because I cheated, and you think I’m not listening. I think that’s fair, it’s a charge I admit to, that I cheated via IRC and ICQ. That you telling me that you wanted to break up with me, during the exams, and then actually breaking up with me after the exams… really I dunno what difference it would have made, I don’t remember that part frankly, because I knew we broke up before my last paper. I think my point was that, you didn’t really feel for me, thus my angst for so long a time.
I am writing to you to put things in a fair perspective. I am not here to peruse through your every paragraph in your latest and try to say who’s lying and who’s not, I think we are way beyond that now, meaning, we are already each other’s history.
To call me a liar, would be unfair in my opinion. I think in your blogs you choose to omit certain events, and in my blogs I choose to put in some events and of course omitting some. I think in modern politics/society, they call such behavior as ‘being economical about facts’, not surprisingly to put each self in a better light than the other when you want people to know more about you. I am not here to remind you of the missing events, which again, is history and not significant. I think you are right, we couldn’t communicate, which till now, I think even if we were to speak, I think we wouldn’t see eye to eye. But my point is, despite you being truthful, and honest, which I appreciate, I think I didn’t appreciate your actions during your relationship (which I deemed as a lack of action because I didn’t felt the effort towards the relationship) and I think you felt likewise about my actions, not that you didn’t know it, but perhaps, you didn’t appreciate it as much as I would love you to.
I admit, I gloated, but I no longer am. Though, I think, to offer you condolences, will to you be crocodile tears. Frankly, in my writings, I say, that I think I have not been courteous to be gloating, and in fact I feel bad about it. I deleted your comments during spur of being distress.
But to let you know my feelings, I gloated because you felt that pain that I did, many years back. Though, to compare, who has it worse, is meaningless. I think I felt angry because you moved on so quickly, and I was still left behind, and now it seems I am still at the same spot.
But I take your advice about moving on in life, think I should, which it seems that these many years I had not really done so. I would like to thank you sincerely, for memories, be it bitter or sweet, and your latest blog for which it gave me a slap I think I deserved for not being helpful during this sad time in your life. I think there is a lot more in life than to dwell in history and sink in self pity.
Frankly if you wish to speak to me, I am all ears, my msn is still the same, alv_tan@hotmail.com.
In short, apologies and gratitude.
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