Why, at the end of a nice day, do these thoughts suddenly intrude, unwelcome and unwanted?

Was about to end my day, in the middle of a hot shower, when the thought of him stabbed in. Not just any thought, since my 'usual' thoughts of him these days don't cause the same pain.

It was the memory of our parting.

When I knew he was going to leave, and couldn't believe he was leaving. Clinging on to him, weeping my heart out on his shoulder, not quite sure if he really cared much by then, but still clinging on, not bearing to let go.

I remember swooning from grief when I stepped away. I don't remember ever having felt so grief-stricken that I felt physically weak.

It felt like ages before I finally pulled away, stepped aside and he made to leave.

"One for the road," I'd said, reaching for one last kiss. Wish it'd occurred to me to slap him across the mouth at that moment.

But what I got was half of a last kiss - it's only half a kiss if you only give it and don't receive it.