Spoilt

Wow...tonight was the first time I ever heard someone refer to Kelvin as "spoilt".

Amazingly, that came from my dad, one of the most level-headed and objective people I know. He's one of the only ones (apart from one other mutual friend) who has managed to give meaningful opinion without taking sides in this whole saga.

My dad likened Kelvin's mindset to that of my 3.5-year-old nephew - Sean is a delightful, adorable kid, but that's what he is: a kid, and a damned stubborn one, in spite of my sister's best efforts, and she's most certainly a strict mom.

Both are Leo, and both are goats, if one is inclined to believe in character similarities among people born at similar periods of time. Stubborn, self-centred and possess insecurity-based super-egos (that the older boy tries to conceal). But Sean is 3.5 years old. Kelvin is already coming on 28.

I think Kelvin's folks did as good as job as they knew and definitely don't seem inclined to spoil a child. I don't think he's spoilt in that way either. I think he's spoilt in an entirely different way that a parent can't help.

Which is why, on the inside, he's still very much a child (not unlike some other people I know). A sulking, self-absorbed teenager who wants things exactly his way and not have to think about anyone else if he doesn't feel like it.

Some years ago, I was a little sad when I realised I was no longer a little girl in my heart, that all my innocence and ignorance were gone forever. But I now see that it's not a bad thing. At least when things go to hell, I'm able to know why. And knowing has always been the most important thing to me. Knowing that people are eventually transparent also helps - all you have to do is wait and watch.

Seeing through the boy I once loved enough to spend the rest of my life with, imperfections and all, is one of the most painful things I've had to go through. Thank goodness this happened to me now instead of when I was younger. At least I have the ability to understand and figure things out now.