Motoring south

Will be driving south to LA today (Wednesday), be there till Sunday. Finally going to see my bro-in-law's side of the family - have only met his brother and one cousin+wife so far. Massive family gathering in the pipeline. Also going to spend a night with the family of my sis's close friend - MORE kids under 4 years old under one roof! Hurray! (Hang on while I pass out.) They're contemplating bringing the kids to Disneyland, but I'm hoping they'll change their mind. I somehow don't feel up to anything particularly high energy, am sorta mellow and tired this trip, for some reason. I'm not even terribly keen on travelling to LA, though I'd wanted to on previous occasions. I don't know why. I'm happy just doing relaxing things here in Santa Cruz, hopefully drive up the coast a little and the beauty of the ocean meeting shores and cliffs. The trouble with travelling with kids is that you don't get to go very far or do very much, and going anywhere, even popping by the nearby supermarket, is a logistically intense operation.

Think I may still be a little depressed, and weirdly impatient for time to move on. But it's getting better by the day. Think I'm also not used to having to deal with a child going through a phase where he's extremely difficult on a daily basis, plus a baby who, in spite of being completely adorable and agreeable, still requires loads of attention. I don't know how my sis does it alone.

Something occurred to me the other day when we were driving north along the coast on the way to brunch at a tiny, quaint town. I was looking out the window at the gorgeous ocean (at that point it was the Pacific Ocean proper, no longer the Monterey Bay). I realised that how I feel towards large bodies of water and coastlines goes deeper than just appreciating them as pretty or romantic places to be. I realised that the way I feel when I'm around them is the same as when I fall in love. I'm in love with the ocean, in love with the sea, in love with how the waters sidle up to the shoreline, in love with how they collide with the cliffs, in love with the undulations of the waves, in love with the white caps spawn from gentle winds, in love with the graceful curve of a breaking wave, in love with how light can dance and play and smash into a million pieces of gold on the water. In love with the water not in spite of its inconstant nature, but because of it - its eternity, its ever-changing face. Like the theatre, the ocean is a tempestuous yet eternal lover, and it will always be a part of my heart.

I'm always in love when I'm here...and I don't need a male to be.