Today today (already tomorrow)

Today I thought of you and smiled.

But only once.

I was too tired to think of much else till I was walking alone along the street with my thoughts. Even then, I was just enjoying the feel of being by myself, moving through the night air that felt like satin sheets.

The night is a woman, and she soothes me like no man can.

I was too tired to even turn my thoughts much to a quarter of the world away to the west. Today was not quite hectic, but was busy enough (and at times entertaining enough). Has the tapering off began? Or maybe I'm just too exhausted (and obsessed with food)?

Strangely, I'm not physically tired. However, what happens when I'm tired is that my mind starts to get wonky. It starts working overtime, but the multitude of thoughts that flit in and out are unorganised and often unstructured, and my attention and ability to focus get a bit koyak. A thought usually doesn't stay a thought and it flutters about all over the shop. Blogging twice today was the closest I got to putting together any coherent chain of thought.

Interestingly, it seems that my practical and rational mind is back, pushing back the emotional whatevers (whatevers?? this is not good - vocabulary taking a hike). Just focussing on the here and now. Immersing in the new surroundings and situation. Talking extremely dirty with the people I'll be stuck with for the next two weeks. They make me laugh, especially when we're all collectively sleep deprived and awake too early. But back to my point - the emotional plane seems to be sinking back again, this time quietly and understated-ly. Which is nice, for a change. Fizzling is always nicer than a bang. But I don't know if fizzle is really here.

Or perhaps it's tired numbness. And thinking about food again. Chicken wings in the fridge. Next to durian. Maybe it's numbness.

See what I mean? Even when I'm incapable of coherent thought, my hyper-skitterish brain starts to overanalyse (quite futilely). (I've used too many brackets in this blog post.) Suspect nothing much I've written makes much sense.

I'd better go to bed at this point or this'll get even more pointless and "HUH??". Need sleep. No idea why I'm still up. My right eye is twice as dry as my left eye.